The Further Adventures of Karrissa Wade, (As she fell amongst thieves)

(continued from below.)

The First Lady of Jax doesn't remember everything that happened next.

"I was trapped in the car, in fear for my life, with a gun pointed at my head, thinking each devotional prayer would be my last. I worried about the Children most of all.....Who would read if I was killed by these terrible desperados?

Also world peace."

The gruff, almost croaking toadlike voice of the gunman belched out: Just Drive to The Metro, Bitch!"

"Now I have been aware of the location of this den of Iniquity for some time, through my work with the homeless and destitute, so I had a pretty good idea what was in store, but in my most fevered nightmares, I never suspected the awful truth.

First of all, it was quickly apparent that it was a club for The Gays.

"One false move, and Ill blow your do goody ass straight to Jeebus." I was told by that terrible Wilhelmina woman. Were going to a titty show in the back, and if you act out, you are one dead Christian Soldier."

I clutched my 32 carat cross and began praying for his soul.

I fell in the hallway, and the painted catamites all began to laugh at me.

Look at her! They pointed and mocked. Such was their disrespect for a child of the Living God.

One of my kidnappers, the one known as 'Blossom', I believe poured something in my mouth that burned like liquid fire.

"Drink THIS!" The creature belched.

I began choking and protesting, but she simply pinched my jawline and forced my mouth open.

"Drink it you bitch! Drink it till the girls get pretty!"

Staggering, I was dragged to my feet and my two abductors, (who I now realize were sinfully drunk) pushed me through a dark blue curtain and put me in a seat.

By now, I was beginning to feel the effects of the medication they had forced me drink, and I asked for more. To kill the pain.

After almost a full bottle of the tonic, I must have been delirious because I felt almost grateful to the squalid, pug nozed gremlin in a dress for nursing my injury in the fall.

Suddenly the lights came on, and some of the manliest women I have ever seen filed out onto the center floor.

These must be the flesh peddlers I realized.

My eyes locked with one of them, and I couldn't help looking down at her strangely shaped torso and then down at her wooly legs and enormous feet.

Is she a Yeti, I asked?

Blossom chimed in:

If you think these Thursday bitches are ugly, you should have seen the Wednesday girls. One of them does a bathroom sex show at the other bar.

(to be continued.)