"Dildos for the Lord" at Hamburger Mary's

Miss Wade finds herself in a bit of a dilemna inasmuch as she approves (in theory) of the free expression of sexuality in all forms----no matter how many Republican Lawmakers are swept out of office in disgrace as a consequence.  However, she must confess that her experience at Hamburger Mary's "Bordello Bingo" has her questioning whether or not she can wear her darling little hat for Sunday Morning Church and Fellowship in good conscience.  Truly the 'game'--And Miss Wade uses that word in the loosest possible sense (no pun intended, honest)  would make Linda Lovelace demand to review the terms of her contract.  For those of you too young to remember Miss Lovelace, she was a famous Republican Senator from Ohio---And rumor has it, a fellow worker in the trenches with local City Councilwoman Kimberly Daniels (the demon buster)

But enough about kneepads and halos. Miss Wade is deeply concerned about the raunchy and wild nature of the show. Things that shouldnt be discussed unless they require a subpoena and threat of imprisonment occur with alarming frequency, and no, Miss Wade is not referring to the accounting practices of Erotica Cooper (and really, is this any kind of name for a grownup?) She is referring to shocking displays of sexual hardware and products that seem intended more for the filming of Saw than anything romantic or intimate.

Truly. Miss Wade has been made aware that there is an entire industry of people who make distorted models of the male sex organ out of latex and rubber. At first she thought these things were crude props intended for medical symposiums, but she has had her eyes opened (widely, it bears noting) Really. People can be so morbid.

Miss Wade will spare you the details of the sordid uses to which these 'sex toys' are put, but she will tell you that she has launched a campaign to remove these dangerous objects from the hands of people who cannot be trusted with them and distribute them to people of Christian and wholesome character.

A large assortment of these disgusting prosthetics will be liberated from the clutches of evil doers and given out to audiences (to be destroyed immediately of course) every Tuesday Night at 8pm (18 and up) at Hamburger Mary's.

Wont someone please think of the Children?

Love and Prayers
Miss Karrissa Wade.