Rearended by the Devil in a infiniti

Oh mother Jefferson Davis! While on my way to comfort the sick Miss Wade was rear ended by the devil , Lucifer , Beelzebub anyway you wanna call it . It was the Devil wears Prada , well knock off Prada. Miss Wade being of the Lord was on her way to help feed the hungry . I had cooked up a mess of greens for the unfortunate. As i sat in my Lincoln , listening to "One day at a time sweet Jesus" . I noticed a car at a irate speed barreling down on me . James I yelled! James is my driver. He looked up as did I . you could see the devil in this bleach blond lady's face. Shes coming right for us. Was all I could do to clutch my pearls and brace for the impact. After the crash my driver James had whip lash. Lord now who will drive me to the social? When James opened my door , I stepped out, yes he's hurt, but ladies as myself don't open our own doors. I managed to capture my composure , what in the name of all is holy do you think your doing? I said to this woman . By her dress you could tell she was probably a Methodist. That would explain the driver. either that or shes on her way to a meth lab both tend to be as evil. She proceed to tell me she had looked down to check directions from her phone. My reply being ever so cordial was "And your directions said run right up my back door?" Honey I know this is old fashioned , but have you ever heard of a map? I would have slapped the fear of God into had she not just injured my good praying arm . However my dialing arm was intact I'm dialing ask Gary get him on my side .We waited for the police to finally arrive. upon their arrival she immediately explains who her husband is. to the unsuspecting officer , I exclaimed I don't care if your husbands the dress wearing Pope , whose fixing my Lincoln? James my driver , was taken in ambulance. of course being the christian woman I am , I was gravely concerned. After all I did have lot of errands to run. I was gonna be in need of a driver. So this is Miss wades circumstances , what to do . I heard this Hamburger Mary's on beach does charity bingo every Monday and Thursday . I guess may need one for my Lincoln . tell your momma , I asked about her. lords blessings Miss Wade