Swine Flu Hysteria has hit the streets of Jacksonville (spelled "yaksunvile" by a local 'sammich' lovin' gal on craigslist)
Noted Humanitarian and Parking Lot Charity Supporter, Nichole Woods out of concern for missing hobo princess, Sofia Andrews, was able to raise enough 'charity money' to obtain a bus ticket from local bar patron Rick after a three week barnburner in several parking lots outside Jacksonville area clubs.
Fearing that Miss Andrews, who was recently discovered living in a cardboard box in Sante Cruz had been exposed to swine flu, Nichole didn't hesitate.
"Honey, Ive seen some of the pigs that girl has pulled a trick or two on, and I just KNEW that time was of the essence" She told Miss Wade recently, in a BigBoned exclusive interview. "It was my Christian Duty as a friend and a sister. I love me some Sofia." she added, dabbing a tear from a cloudy eye and excusing herself to make yet another trip to the 'lavatory'.
That was apparently just before disaster struck in a small truck stop outside Tuscon.
After being in an enclosed tight space in the back of a truck that had recently crossed the border, Miss Woods was trying to raise more 'charity money' by providing light entertainment.
She started coughing. "Actually it was more like choking" said an unnamed witness.
After 11 bouts of choking from an obstruction of the throat, she finished "Fancy" to thunderous applause. And six pesos.
Then she collapsed.
The CDC refuses to confirm or deny whether or not Miss Wood has contracted the Swine Flu.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment