Attempted Murder in Riverside?

Miss Karrissa Wade was shocked and dismayed this morning, when she got up to jog to the gym for her daily workout and Charity run.

Well....Lets just say that she was dismayed. "Shocked" would imply that she was surprised, and sadly, the First Lady of Jax is literally beyond surprise when any otherwise shocking tale comes out of the remains of what used to be a great club called The Third Dimension.

She rolled over on her cloud this morning, hoping to shake angel sparkles from her sleepy eyes, and her laptop was literally smoking.

At 9am, her cellphones were all blowing up, and even her secret landline was purring angrily in the distant Drawing Room. She slipped out of her linen sheets, rose petals falling to the floor, and ran over to the Louise XIV secretary upon which she keeps her laptop. (remember, children, we do not own works of art, we are merely preserving them for future generations)

Her sense of decorum and love were shattered within seconds as she was subjected to the most hateful vitriol and abuse that she has ever been witness to. Poor Miss Wade. She was literally in tears as she read the death threats, the insults, and worst of all the photos of a certain naked bar owner being dumped unceremoniously into her own toilet. In effigy.

And what had Miss Wade done to deserve this terrifying attack by gay teabaggers? (no pun intended)

Nothing. She had done nothing.

It was all apparently having to do with an incident involving the truly angelic Miss Dana Douglas, that undimmable light of the stage who Miss Wade is privileged to call her Sister in Christ. In fact, Miss Wade remembers well her debutant party, and the gorgeous appointments of the private club set like a white crown on an endless bounty of rolling green hills......ah....memories

With trembling hands, she dialed one of her message services.

Apparently Miss Douglas was savagely beaten and thrown unconscious into the streets outside of a small club in the riverside district. At the demand of rogues, and a truly weltering rabble of thugs in jackboots.

Miss Wade is not sure of the details, nor is she certain of the full truth of the accounts, but if there is any truth in the attempted murder of one of the great lights of the Cabaret Profession I wish them luck.

She is still trying vainly to determine why anyone would assume that Miss Wade was involved in the vicious attack, as she would never ally herself with such activities.

It is true that Miss Wade is acquainted with the ophidian characters who are accused of the unspeakable acts perpetrated against Miss Douglas, but her only contact with these notorious characters was as a result of her charity work with the apparently unredeemable ensemble. Indeed. Though Miss Wade doesnt like to discuss it, she barely escaped herself, and is well aware of the strange and sudden bouts of anger and violence which would make this kind of episode possible.

She would like to take this moment to assure the various national pageants and onlookers that she is just as appalled as anyone at the shocking treatment that was visited upon the head of Miss Douglas, and suggests that this serve as a warning.

Poor Dana. I hope that she will still be able to bear children after this episode, and invite all of the readers of this blog to keep her in their prayers.

Also. if anyone knows what really happened, would they please let Miss Wade know.

is Dana even still alive?