Dear Miss Wade

Recently everyone has decided it is Miss Wades job to hear all their problems. Children I have problems of my own. Do I look like Anne Landers? Try having ya good praying knee go out while trying to worship our sweet baby Jesus. You know how sister Catherine is always trying one up me. You know the one with store bought hair and the Publix pie . She always says is home made. How can I compete if i can even kneel? And don't get me started on relations, that old Abner still trying get relations .At my age if there's a warm feeling in my lady parts I better check my depends . Talking about there's still a sex life after 6o. why yes last time i thought i was having sex i realized i had rolled over on my right breast. It had be sex or a stroke. I bought a push up bra recently push up bra hmmph , looked like i had shoulder pads in my best Sunday dress. One deacons kids asking me if i played foot ball. Wanted get a autograph. Well I digress , my point is not everyone wants hear ya troubles. When someone says how are you its being polite. Same thing as saying "oh bless your heart" really means who cares. well love and light children . I gotta go get Abner away from TV . Every time he watches those dang work out videos he gets heart palpitations . Then its realtions talk all over again. Bless ya bye. Miss Wade

Any fool can wear a crown.. but wearing while having sex now thats talent.

Lord how mercy everyone has got the pageant bug right now . No not that bug although there are crown chasers to. Miss Wade recently was down in Cocoa where she was ministering to the wayward teenage boys. Teaching them the verse spare the rod spoil the child. Hallelujah. She was slapped by the pageant mosquito. I don't know if it was vodka or Jesus . Next thing I know Miss Wade was bringing down the house winning 4 out of 5 categories. She just wanted take time to thank everyone. For talent She juggled three Siamese twin transsexuals while eating a jello pudding pop. Everyone loves jello. After working her fist up one of the midgets she proceeded to lip-sync " Our God is a awesome God ". She commenced to twirling a flaming baton as the little person caught it in his mouth. When she sobered up and exercised the demons . All Miss Wade could hear was "you been a very bad boy ahahha" . She broke out her anointing oil and started to spray the judges . The head judge assumed it was a golden shower and begin twerking his nipples. We got Miss Wade home where she is recuperating clutching her pearls and muttering something about dens of iniquity . She has yet to let go of her crown . Prayers and anointing to you all . Bless ya bye. Miss Space Coast Comedy Queen.

The oldest living drag queen has gone....

Its with sad heart Miss Wade must say good bye to a dear friend and daughter Blossom Otoole. Blossum was our first Miss Big Boned and Bossy. From scandal to stardom you never knew what she was gonna do. She often was serving "hot nuts at the local hotspots" .She loved being a "prison bitch" and you better believe she would ask "wanna see my pussy" to any man with a pulse. Its a sad time for the community . We say good bye and celebrate her life starting this sunday at Incahoots. Sunday the 9th at the Norm and Metro on Sunday the 16th. We can all can see her now with James Brown, Mike Burton , and many more in her white underwear kicking up her heels to "I just wanna fucking dance" . You will be missed old friend , daughter and star. Always keep them smiling Miss Big Boned , Miss Firecracker love ya momma...

Holidays Gays and the Baby Jesus

Miss Wade loves the Holidays about our Lord. Recently at charity fundraiser for needy children Miss Wade discovered the homosexuals were sculling the good name of the baby Jesus. Did you know the gays even call each other Mary? The very name of our lord and Savior . I clutch my pearls as I think of all the yule tides that have become gay. There is even a drag queen at Hamburger Marys who hosts a x-rated bingo and calls the winning prize " dildos for Jesus" . Now Miss Wade knows the good book of our savior , and never ever has Corinthians mentioned gods work with Latex. Did David slay Goliath with a vibrator? Did Moses part the Red sea with a giant black double headed dildo? Now don't get me wrong I have read the verse "spare the rod spoil the child" . now as you know Christians do not take anything form the good book out of text. the good book says love thy neighbor . During this holiest of holidays Miss Wade is loving and praying for the souls of those sinful bingo goers . Join her in protest every Tuesday at Hamburger Marys at 7:30 . The only vibrating and thumping Miss Wade will be doing is shouts of jubilation for the good lord and holy spirit. Happy birthday baby Jesus.

Miss Wade was eye raped at Florida Theatre

Mother of Jefferson Davis! The horrors I have seen will not soon be forgotten.

 Miss Wade was recently asked [while out doing her missionary work for troubled wayward boys (age 17-23) for the Missionary Evangelical Methodist church of Our Lady in Chastity Belts, Jedidiah Lutheran Ecclesiastes] if she would host a function at the historical Florida Theater.

Feeling anointed and blessed that someone had recognized her work for the Lord, she humbly accepted.

So she and Mortimer, her faithful husband of many, many year,s donned their Sunday best for a night at the theater.

Mortimer wasn't to keen on being taken away from his radio repair hobby. Miss Wade often watches him as he works on gently turning the knobs and caressing the circuits. Hard not to fondly reminisce of days gone by...

Finally Miss Wade had arrived at the majestic Florida Theater.

She found Vincent, who is apparently their Maitre'd, who took her to her dressing area and explained she would be addressing the crowd and introducing a production called Rocky Horror Show.

Miss Wade had to quickly explain I had never seen this theater show, which appeared to have been made with questionable quality.

However , being a lady of the stage and numerous revivals I was quite sure I could handle the task.

Who knew the horrors her eyes would see!?!?

After being introduced, Miss Wade stepped onstage to a roaring crowd.

According the the bellhop, Vincent, it was filled almost to capacity and even more were coming in.

Miss Wade (who started reading from a cheat sheet that listed who was in the movie year first shown 1975 ). was astounded, when--- from the back of the room she clearly heard "bring on the virgins" .

Her Christian ears must be deceiving her, she thought..

Then the crowd started screaming Virgins! Virgins!

Was this a movie about Communion and the Virgin Mary?

Alas no, as became horribly clear, once the house lights went up .

What Miss Wade was forced to watch, nearly frozen in fear, missing not a single detail--- was out the very gates of Hell.

Women in their unmentionables. Miss Wade clutched her pearls, "the devil is alive" she could hear repeating in her head, no doubt a Word of Knowledge.

But, Children of Christ, that was not all .

There were men….Men!.. in women's clothing!

Sodomites apparently.  Sodomites every where.

 Before Miss Wade could react she was swarmed on stage, She grabbed her Chanel number 5 and started spraying profusely---turning it (through the power of the holy spirit) into a three hundred dollar  bottle of holy water in order to rebuke this satanic hoard .

The stage was filled with lust crazed women and men.

Some of whom Miss Wade wasn't sure could be called which.

Were they going to sacrifice these sin filled heathens?

The fact that the Theatre itself was in cahoots with these satan worshipers was made clear when Balloons were brought on stage and sex acts were simulated.

Miss wade fainted right there. When she came to, there was a a man on stage in garters and hose inviting people to do something called the "time warp ".

Well surely she had been warped to the time of Armageddon. Where was Mortimer?

As the demonically inspired horde started in their unseemly gyrating, Miss Wade was doomed to yet another revelation, in a Night of Revelations. (beginning about chapter 20)

There was Mortimer in Miss Wade's best under garments prancing around .You could see everything even his tallywhacker .

Oh all that is holy!  Miss Wade must have come under Demonic Oppression herself is all she can think of.

Miss Wade revived back to consciousness on Adams street in nothing but a bra and panties.

And a party hat.

Some man in a corset and stockings was wearing her pearls.

Oh lord, Miss Wade remembers thinking: "It's Mortimer!"

Pray for this city!

Rocky horror has single handily tore the moral fiber (and apparently the hymen of several young women who Miss Wade will discretely refrain from mentioning, Miss Todd) completely asunder.

Mortimer is now in the Go Straight for Jesus program being de-homosexualized.

Pray for Miss Wade, gentle readers.

In her fragile state, she was being ogled and eye raped.

This never would have happened if George W was still in office.

Thanks Obama.

What does " PRIDE" mean to you

Miss Wade found herself asking this very question this week. I was recently offended over not being on my jobs float for parade. I was worked up to a frenzy. I stopped and asked myself what does pride mean? Is that really something to be worked up about? When did pride become about being in a parade or partying. We forget those who paved the way for us, some even dying so that we may even have a parade. The first LGBT bar I ever went to in Clarksville tn, the bartender was murdered in the bars bathroom for being transgendered. The police took it as one last queer to deal with, that she brought it upon herself. What of people like Harvey Milk, who died believing not in special rights but equal rights. All week long I have heard people talking about how drunk or how high they plan to get. I wonder how many people you could ask this week if they knew people such as Harvey Milk are. How many would even know what Stonewall was? How many turned out to city council as they voted to once again take our rights away? Stop and even ask ya self who made it possible for me now to be openly gay. Better yet, who is fighting for our rights now? We cant know our future if we don't know our past. I'm happy to see the strides we are all taking. How wonderful it is to be openly gay. There was a time not so long ago being gay could very easily get you killed. This week as we embrace as brothers and sisters, take time to think about how we got to where we are. We aren't where we are going to end up being but, we are better than we were before. Pride for this ole girl means happy to be the person I was meant to be and loving the people who are on this great journey with me. I thank all who came before me, and all of you who may come after me to fight the good fight of equality for all, thank you for standing your ground. A heartfelt thanks to all who are fighting today. Happy Gay Pride everyone. MISS WADE

Cyber Bullying of 7 year old reality star honey boo on TMZ and E News

Hello kiddies as you know Miss Wade is all about jokes laughs and fun. Recently however the visit of Honey Boo Boo and family has sparked much national news. First released here on Big Boned and Bossy last Tuesday the family came to see Miss Wades comedy bingo . Was a fun time at Hamburger Marys , labeled by some as a gay burger joint . Marys is a place where all walks of life are welcome the only labels stressed there are fun, laughs and tolerance. Most of the articles were nice and on point . However ,the comments left after the articles are simply appalling . It is one thing to attack myself , gays , her parents , uncle etc . We are adults , the attack however on a 7 year old little girl is just sad. I was surprised to see such sites as TMZ and E News allowing this cyber attack get so viscous. We forget yes shes on TV in a manner of which some deem crude however , when those cameras are off she still a little girl . Think about if that was your child , niece , daughter ? Would you be so quick to pick up the proverbial stone? There are 4400 deaths per year in youth suicides, according to Yale university study. The study goes on to say 10 to 14 year old girls are at higher risk and 2-9 times more likely if cyber bullied. You don't like the show fine that is the great thing about cable it carries more than one channel . Shame on you for allowing the comments on your site. And shame on you who post such cruel things about a little child. to the point of saying "shes a meth head " , or that "shes a gross little pig ", or should be beaten and killed. one person even went as far as to call her "trash ,and a common nigger ". really? these are the things to say to a kid? News sites? these are the things you allow posted ? This speaks of you as badly as it does the people who post it. Take responsibility and take it down or at least filter it . We as a people preach tolerance but are willing to drive a child to tears. Your being a bully simple as that hiding behind the guise of freedom of speech. It is not freedom of speech its freedom of hate . I do know the person you see on stage or on camera usually is not the same person in real life. Try to remember star or not a the end of the day , she is still a child . a little 7 year old girl with with feelings now back to your regular scheduled program . Miss Wade