Miss Wade was eye raped at Florida Theatre

Mother of Jefferson Davis! The horrors I have seen will not soon be forgotten.

 Miss Wade was recently asked [while out doing her missionary work for troubled wayward boys (age 17-23) for the Missionary Evangelical Methodist church of Our Lady in Chastity Belts, Jedidiah Lutheran Ecclesiastes] if she would host a function at the historical Florida Theater.

Feeling anointed and blessed that someone had recognized her work for the Lord, she humbly accepted.

So she and Mortimer, her faithful husband of many, many year,s donned their Sunday best for a night at the theater.

Mortimer wasn't to keen on being taken away from his radio repair hobby. Miss Wade often watches him as he works on gently turning the knobs and caressing the circuits. Hard not to fondly reminisce of days gone by...

Finally Miss Wade had arrived at the majestic Florida Theater.

She found Vincent, who is apparently their Maitre'd, who took her to her dressing area and explained she would be addressing the crowd and introducing a production called Rocky Horror Show.

Miss Wade had to quickly explain I had never seen this theater show, which appeared to have been made with questionable quality.

However , being a lady of the stage and numerous revivals I was quite sure I could handle the task.

Who knew the horrors her eyes would see!?!?

After being introduced, Miss Wade stepped onstage to a roaring crowd.

According the the bellhop, Vincent, it was filled almost to capacity and even more were coming in.

Miss Wade (who started reading from a cheat sheet that listed who was in the movie year first shown 1975 ). was astounded, when--- from the back of the room she clearly heard "bring on the virgins" .

Her Christian ears must be deceiving her, she thought..

Then the crowd started screaming Virgins! Virgins!

Was this a movie about Communion and the Virgin Mary?

Alas no, as became horribly clear, once the house lights went up .

What Miss Wade was forced to watch, nearly frozen in fear, missing not a single detail--- was out the very gates of Hell.

Women in their unmentionables. Miss Wade clutched her pearls, "the devil is alive" she could hear repeating in her head, no doubt a Word of Knowledge.

But, Children of Christ, that was not all .

There were men….Men!.. in women's clothing!

Sodomites apparently.  Sodomites every where.

 Before Miss Wade could react she was swarmed on stage, She grabbed her Chanel number 5 and started spraying profusely---turning it (through the power of the holy spirit) into a three hundred dollar  bottle of holy water in order to rebuke this satanic hoard .

The stage was filled with lust crazed women and men.

Some of whom Miss Wade wasn't sure could be called which.

Were they going to sacrifice these sin filled heathens?

The fact that the Theatre itself was in cahoots with these satan worshipers was made clear when Balloons were brought on stage and sex acts were simulated.

Miss wade fainted right there. When she came to, there was a a man on stage in garters and hose inviting people to do something called the "time warp ".

Well surely she had been warped to the time of Armageddon. Where was Mortimer?

As the demonically inspired horde started in their unseemly gyrating, Miss Wade was doomed to yet another revelation, in a Night of Revelations. (beginning about chapter 20)

There was Mortimer in Miss Wade's best under garments prancing around .You could see everything even his tallywhacker .

Oh all that is holy!  Miss Wade must have come under Demonic Oppression herself is all she can think of.

Miss Wade revived back to consciousness on Adams street in nothing but a bra and panties.

And a party hat.

Some man in a corset and stockings was wearing her pearls.

Oh lord, Miss Wade remembers thinking: "It's Mortimer!"

Pray for this city!

Rocky horror has single handily tore the moral fiber (and apparently the hymen of several young women who Miss Wade will discretely refrain from mentioning, Miss Todd) completely asunder.

Mortimer is now in the Go Straight for Jesus program being de-homosexualized.

Pray for Miss Wade, gentle readers.

In her fragile state, she was being ogled and eye raped.

This never would have happened if George W was still in office.

Thanks Obama.

What does " PRIDE" mean to you

Miss Wade found herself asking this very question this week. I was recently offended over not being on my jobs float for parade. I was worked up to a frenzy. I stopped and asked myself what does pride mean? Is that really something to be worked up about? When did pride become about being in a parade or partying. We forget those who paved the way for us, some even dying so that we may even have a parade. The first LGBT bar I ever went to in Clarksville tn, the bartender was murdered in the bars bathroom for being transgendered. The police took it as one last queer to deal with, that she brought it upon herself. What of people like Harvey Milk, who died believing not in special rights but equal rights. All week long I have heard people talking about how drunk or how high they plan to get. I wonder how many people you could ask this week if they knew people such as Harvey Milk are. How many would even know what Stonewall was? How many turned out to city council as they voted to once again take our rights away? Stop and even ask ya self who made it possible for me now to be openly gay. Better yet, who is fighting for our rights now? We cant know our future if we don't know our past. I'm happy to see the strides we are all taking. How wonderful it is to be openly gay. There was a time not so long ago being gay could very easily get you killed. This week as we embrace as brothers and sisters, take time to think about how we got to where we are. We aren't where we are going to end up being but, we are better than we were before. Pride for this ole girl means happy to be the person I was meant to be and loving the people who are on this great journey with me. I thank all who came before me, and all of you who may come after me to fight the good fight of equality for all, thank you for standing your ground. A heartfelt thanks to all who are fighting today. Happy Gay Pride everyone. MISS WADE

Cyber Bullying of 7 year old reality star honey boo on TMZ and E News

Hello kiddies as you know Miss Wade is all about jokes laughs and fun. Recently however the visit of Honey Boo Boo and family has sparked much national news. First released here on Big Boned and Bossy last Tuesday the family came to see Miss Wades comedy bingo . Was a fun time at Hamburger Marys , labeled by some as a gay burger joint . Marys is a place where all walks of life are welcome the only labels stressed there are fun, laughs and tolerance. Most of the articles were nice and on point . However ,the comments left after the articles are simply appalling . It is one thing to attack myself , gays , her parents , uncle etc . We are adults , the attack however on a 7 year old little girl is just sad. I was surprised to see such sites as TMZ and E News allowing this cyber attack get so viscous. We forget yes shes on TV in a manner of which some deem crude however , when those cameras are off she still a little girl . Think about if that was your child , niece , daughter ? Would you be so quick to pick up the proverbial stone? There are 4400 deaths per year in youth suicides, according to Yale university study. The study goes on to say 10 to 14 year old girls are at higher risk and 2-9 times more likely if cyber bullied. You don't like the show fine that is the great thing about cable it carries more than one channel . Shame on you for allowing the comments on your site. And shame on you who post such cruel things about a little child. to the point of saying "shes a meth head " , or that "shes a gross little pig ", or should be beaten and killed. one person even went as far as to call her "trash ,and a common nigger ". really? these are the things to say to a kid? News sites? these are the things you allow posted ? This speaks of you as badly as it does the people who post it. Take responsibility and take it down or at least filter it . We as a people preach tolerance but are willing to drive a child to tears. Your being a bully simple as that hiding behind the guise of freedom of speech. It is not freedom of speech its freedom of hate . I do know the person you see on stage or on camera usually is not the same person in real life. Try to remember star or not a the end of the day , she is still a child . a little 7 year old girl with with feelings now back to your regular scheduled program . Miss Wade

Honey Boo Boo came to see Miss Wade at Hamburger Marys.

Honey child you better Redneckinize......... Miss wade had a blast last night at Hamburger Marys Jacksonville. As you know I was hosting my usual save the masses christian saint bingo for the needy. Who should appear but miss honey Boo Boo , Poodle, momma sugar bear. Miss wade was as giddy as banny rooster with tube sucks honey. We had a wonderful time enjoying communion of burgers fries and my usual Smirnoff smoothie. They were super sweet, even donating funds to the anti bullying campaign. I'm definitely now a huge fan. Well time to go wash my biscuit. See y'all Thursday for the next bingo hosted by Momma wade .Every Monday Tuesday and Thursday at Hamburger Marys bingo for the children.

Third world prison , witch trials, and saving the masses

Hello kiddies, followers, and fans. Miss Wade is back from her tour of third world prisons. I highly recommend it . See the in and out of Jacksonville's sordid underbelly. I Recently received Best Host and Emcee award from the Jacksonville Community Awards . All my hard work bribes and blackmail must have payed off. Kiddies Miss Wade has taken a much needed sabbatical from the stress of the strain of entertaining the masses .I've taken so much of this much needed time to give back to my community .I was invited to host "A ride for a cure , Josh's ride " Event at Rainbow house. I was surprised at the line of people who wanted to wish me well . Or should I was say was more than willing to dunk me in the dunking booth. I felt as if I was back at the Salem witch Trials . Lord those were the days get a little drunk on communion wine and speak gibberish next thing you know your a witch . I digress , after I was baptized more than a three dollar hooker during lent. I got back to a wonderful fundraiser for a cure for HIV . The talent was amazing , food marvelous. Young Josh did a amazing job for his first event. You remember Josh the young man I saved form sin at the Bordello Bingo they have every Tuesday at Hamburger Mary's . All the sex toys and flesh everywhere it is enough to make a god fearing woman such as myself clutch her pearls . The den of iniquity does have its good sides though , every Monday and Thursday they do charity bingo . There is a different charity each night and all the proceeds go to the charity. This Thursday will benefit will be for my mother Karen Misplay and her fight against cancer. I know what ya think she has to be pretty old . Well yes she is , She and Harriet Tubman were roommates on the underground railroad back in the "old south" . My mother has always stood up for the rights of others. It never mattered if you were black , white , gay or straight . come support myself and her this Thursday at Hamburger Mary's . I plan to be on my best of behavior , in true southern lady fashion. Until then kiddies god be with you, and these United States. Miss Wade

Reflections of a time gone by

Hello kiddies Miss Wade is back . I sit here on a reflection of a time passed. The ever dreaded birthday. A time this old girl never looks forward to . Seems like just yesterday I was leaving the farm . A young doe eyed girl with hopes and dreams. Many people have come and gone in my life . Some to quick and others who stuck around like a bad case of crabs or vaginal discharge . those few who made a impression on my heart as well as my bed , for that I thank , thank you . They say with age comes wisdom . I can see that clearly each time I watch the news and some old lady or man has been scammed. No dears with age comes wrinkles , frequent urination, and the occasional bout of the butt horn (gas). I would love to say I left my mark in this world . I think I have from the traumatized straight guy in the show audience to the unveiling of some of Jacksonville's lgbt deepest scandals. in my career I have found you don't have to be pretty , or smart just make em laugh . Live like there's no tomorrow and wait for your true love . I have been blessed this year with a great job, wonderful friends and family and finally true love . The greatest man I could ever dreamed of found his way into my life and saw something in me. Though what it is god only knows . I guess what I'm trying to say kiddies is thank you. Thank you for this amazing career and a place in this community all my love Miss Wade

Rearended by the Devil in a infiniti

Oh mother Jefferson Davis! While on my way to comfort the sick Miss Wade was rear ended by the devil , Lucifer , Beelzebub anyway you wanna call it . It was the Devil wears Prada , well knock off Prada. Miss Wade being of the Lord was on her way to help feed the hungry . I had cooked up a mess of greens for the unfortunate. As i sat in my Lincoln , listening to "One day at a time sweet Jesus" . I noticed a car at a irate speed barreling down on me . James I yelled! James is my driver. He looked up as did I . you could see the devil in this bleach blond lady's face. Shes coming right for us. Was all I could do to clutch my pearls and brace for the impact. After the crash my driver James had whip lash. Lord now who will drive me to the social? When James opened my door , I stepped out, yes he's hurt, but ladies as myself don't open our own doors. I managed to capture my composure , what in the name of all is holy do you think your doing? I said to this woman . By her dress you could tell she was probably a Methodist. That would explain the driver. either that or shes on her way to a meth lab both tend to be as evil. She proceed to tell me she had looked down to check directions from her phone. My reply being ever so cordial was "And your directions said run right up my back door?" Honey I know this is old fashioned , but have you ever heard of a map? I would have slapped the fear of God into had she not just injured my good praying arm . However my dialing arm was intact I'm dialing ask Gary get him on my side .We waited for the police to finally arrive. upon their arrival she immediately explains who her husband is. to the unsuspecting officer , I exclaimed I don't care if your husbands the dress wearing Pope , whose fixing my Lincoln? James my driver , was taken in ambulance. of course being the christian woman I am , I was gravely concerned. After all I did have lot of errands to run. I was gonna be in need of a driver. So this is Miss wades circumstances , what to do . I heard this Hamburger Mary's on beach does charity bingo every Monday and Thursday . I guess may need one for my Lincoln . tell your momma , I asked about her. lords blessings Miss Wade